-People who don’t know any correct coffee terminology yet spew nonsense out of their mouth trying to sound correct. You don’t sound correct, you sound like a douchebag. There is no such thing as a Mochaccino.
-Old men who complain that there isn’t a dumb skanky hoe behind the counter. Even if there was, they would still think you’re a creep. Just because Starbucks employ’s some of these bimbos doesn’t mean it’s the norm for every coffee shop. Besides, most coffee drinks made by women suck.
-Starting my day at work with cleaning. I clean the store when I close so the opener doesn’t have to clean it when they open. I’d like it to be the same way when I start my shift, rather than spending 45 minutes recovering a mess because you can’t multi-task and clean. This isn’t a hard job.
-When things are put in different places without notice. I don’t review the camera during your shift to notice where ‘Random Item A’ moved to. If you are consistent with where you put things it makes the day a lot smoother for everyone else.
-When a customer comes in asking if we make sandwiches. Fuck no we don’t make sandwiches. If we did, we’d be called Folsom Sub, or Subway, or Quizno’s. Just because Starbucks has pre-made sandwiches does not mean we have a deli bar behind the counter. If you want a sandwich, go to the store and buy a loaf of bread, some cheese, and your favorite lunch meat. Don’t come to my coffee shop asking for one.
-Pee on the toilet seat. First of all, how hard is it to lift the seat up? Second of all, I get that mistakes happen, but there is toilet paper in most bathrooms… Maybe you should use that toilet paper to wipe off your piss. I don’t even have to sit down to pee and this annoys me.
-When the roommates finished off the remaining water in the water purifier and don’t fill it back up. I fill it back up 90% of the time if I claim the remaining water. It’s not that hard and it leaves behind cold purified water for everyone.
-When the sink is full of dirty dishes, the dishwasher is empty, and I need a plate or bowl. God damn I hate doing other people’s dishes.
-When the volume of the people in the room exceeds that of the television. I didn’t invite you over to interrupt my movie, I invited you over to enjoy the movie with me. Thanks to your douchebaggery I will have to watch this movie again when I can actually hear it.
On the internet:
-People who don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re. It’s not rocket science, it’s English. It’s also something you probably should have learned in 4th grade, possibly sooner. I don’t remember because it feels like I’ve always known the difference.
-Shit talkers. Just because you’re behind your computer screen and fat fingering your keyboard doesn’t give you the right to spew hateful words at people.
-Know it alls. The people who feel the need to comment on every facebook status update telling people they’re wrong. Guess what, it’s their opinion and it doesn’t have to match yours.
On video games:
-When you’re playing multi-player with a friend and trying to complete a certain objective and your friend is running off in la-la land doing fuck all to help finish what needs to be done. If we were playing Team Deathmatch (or any other similar game mode) I wouldn’t give a shit. However, we’re playing Capture the Flag and you’re not defending the flag carrier. Get the fuck out of here.
-People with shitty internet playing online multiplayer games. How can this be fun for you? I’m tired of pulling dead weight in my favorite video games because your internet can’t keep up with the speed of the game. How about you just play single-player until you can afford cable internet. (Admittedly, when I use my parents internet to play games I fall under this category, although I hate myself for it and grow bitter while playing. That being said, I carry my own weight.)
-People who can’t put game discs back into it’s case. The case is there for a reason, to protect the disc from scratches or dust. When the disc is left out, it may become unplayable. When it’s unplayable, both the disc and the case are useless to me. I prefer to play video games that I purchase. I didn’t purchase the game to have a shiny case.
On my phone:
-Auto correct. Yes, I was really trying to type out the word ‘as’, stop auto correcting it to “A’s”. I’m not talking about the baseball team.
-When Apple locks my AppleID. I’m so over going into Safari to verify that I know what my mother’s maiden name is. Just because I buy an app doesn’t mean there’s suspicious activity going on in my account.
-ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. You announcers talk about shit completely irrelevant to the game. When I tune in to watch the SF Giants dominate their opposition, I could really care less about Derek Jeter not showing up to the All-Star game. Derek Jeter is a tool, I’ll admit, but you announcers are jackasses for plaguing my beloved sport with random bullshit. I’d much rather listen to KNBR’s coverage.
-Shitty cameramen. Stop showing haggard old women on the kiss-cam. I don’t want to see that. Neither does 80% of the people attending the game. Also, when someone hits a baseball, try following where the baseball actually goes instead of the white bird that caught your eye.
There are tons more I’m sure, but this should do.